We have strong values and beliefs and seek companions with the same. This drastically narrows the dating options, leaving us to wonder, is their any chance of finding a match?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Why We Are Single

I have been contemplating starting this blog for some time now, as I have numerous conversations with female and male friends who share frustrations, questions, concerns about dating. Why am I still single? Why can't I find anyone interesting at church? Why are guys at church so shallow? Why do girls seem to only care about a guy's income? The questions never end, and the answers rarely follow.

Let's start this blog off by evaluating why we are single. Some of us will say it's a choice, and others will say it's because we haven't found the "right one". However, why is it that numerous people date and marry every day, of all shapes and sizes, all backgrounds, all ages?

A few years ago I attended a lecture on dating put on by my church and the speaker told us that if we aren't dating, we aren't playing the game. I believed her, but then when I went to church the following Sunday and looked around, I thought to myself, I don't want to play the game with these guys. I then decided I was single because I couldn't find anyone who interested me. I have found many guys outside of my church who engage me in conversation, who take me on fantastic dates and treat me like a lady, who are ambitious and doing something with their lives. Why can't I find that at church? At work I find guys who are men, but at church they seem like boys who have yet to find themselves and figure out what they really want in life. Am I single because I don't like Mormon boys?

I suppose on the flip side guys can say the same things; that girls at church don't interest them, expect too much, are boring, etc. We are raised with the same values with similar backgrounds, yet many of us struggle to find compatibility in a group that should give us exactly that. The problem is that although we have religious beliefs which affect the way in which we choose to live our lives, our religion does not define us and we are all still individuals, something we have to sometimes prove to the rest of the world. We all come to earth with a unique spirit in a unique encasement, no matter what our views may be regarding God and Jesus Christ. We are brought together each Sunday because we worship these beings in the same manner, although we may not have anything else in common.

And thus leads us to the plight of the religious dater. Finding a mate is tricky enough in times of constant change and opportunity, and narrowing the field only adds to the challenge. Don't get me started on height.

1 comment:

  1. Too true. Other sub-groups still adhere to sexual desires as the biggest attraction factor. Christianity specifically raises the bar and encourages the acceptance of people on many more levels as a person than most of secular society considers.