We have strong values and beliefs and seek companions with the same. This drastically narrows the dating options, leaving us to wonder, is their any chance of finding a match?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

He's Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man

With some slight adjustments to one of Miss Britney Spear's song, we get a summary of my recent dating experiences. Yes, that was experiences with an "s".

If you have read any previous posts I have made it clear that I have not been one to date much. I'm a relatively normal and healthy LDS woman, but I'm tall, opinionated, and I hate animated films. Unfortunately those traits do not bode well with the majority of LDS men. Also, I'm over the age of 31. I've expired and have been cast out and forced to live among the insanely young baby breeders, teenagers, and the oldies. I love my ward, but it's more effective to poke fun at those who are different from me.

So the point that I was trying to make is that lately I have been dating. It all started back in November when I was matched up with a guy and we seemed to hit it off right from the start. He is significantly younger, but I didn't feel the age gap and I saw a lot of maturity in his views and thoughts. I liked him from the start. The only problem was that he didn't live in my city, and the only contact we had was over the phone.

After a few weeks of talking with A, a guy I've known for years started asking me out. B is also younger than I am, but not as much as A. We went on weekly dates and had a great time, but I wasn't sure if we could connect on a deep level, especially when I felt I already had that with A.

What started to happen was that I saw things I liked in both of them, while simultaneously seeing boyishness which reminded me that we are in different places in life. I am very open to dating younger guys, but with A I started to feel like I was his mother, and with B I felt like I was his teacher.

So there I was, sort of dating these two guys and seeing all of these things that bothered me, but trying not be shallow and quick to make decisions. Don't be critical of me - they were big things. Righteous judgement, Folks. I saw good, but I had to keep asking myself if it was enough upon which to build a romantic relationship.

When my close friend met A she later told me that she thought he seemed like a boy, and that I belong with a man. The same thing has been said about B from the masses of mutual friends we share. So what exactly is a man? Well, from recent experiences, I have a few things to add to the list.

A man will not respond to a text about a date with "word."
A man will have his own car and be able to pick me up.
A man will take care of his health.
A man will talk to me about his intentions.
A man will make an effort to get to know my family and friends.
A man will be kind to my mom.
A man will make a move after a month of dating.

These boys/men who were in my life meant a great deal to me and I will cherish the memories and all that I have learned, but I move on, and I'm moving to the place where the men hang out. Does anyone know where that is?

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