We have strong values and beliefs and seek companions with the same. This drastically narrows the dating options, leaving us to wonder, is their any chance of finding a match?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Geographical Impairment

Some of us live in places where YSA Wards and Midsingles scenes abound. Where the problem is how to sort the wheat from the chaff and find your needle in the haystack of fellers out there.

And some of us do not.

Some of us live in places where we literally know every single LDS man in our city. Sure there are a few move-ins and move outs every year, but the fact of the matter is that I know that am not going to meet anyone new when I attend church singles events. I know exactly who will be there. I know exactly what (who) my options are.

I LOVE my city. It's a spectacular place to live. The people are great. The city and surrounding area are unbeatable. My apartment is fantastic. My ward takes in a large geographical area, so it's splendidly diverse in every way. I have a circle of wonderful friends whom I adore. I just love living here. But sometimes I wonder whether I should move...

Here's why: I'm a firm believer that if we keep doing what we're doing, we're gonna keep getting what we're getting. And if I keep living in a place that doesn't allow for forming many new relationships with new men - I can probably count on the same very small offering of new social opportunities.

It's a delicate balance. I think there's something to be said for the numbers game - if there are more LDS men in a city, the odds of me finding one to date will increase. Heck -even if I were to move to another city with a small LDS population, the number of new options would be greater than if I stay put.

But there are no guarantees. It is very possible that I would leave an otherwise idyllic life and career path in my current city, and not find new men to date. It's always a gamble - do I give up the happiness I know here for something that may or may not exists? I'd be glad to leave it all behind if I knew there would be a positive result. But if I'm going to be flying solo anyway... I'd just as soon do it here.

So what's your advice, team? Should a gal move every few years in the pursuit of something that may or may not exist, knowing that at least she's giving it her best effort? Or should she put down roots, resign herself to being content with her singledom in a beautiful city, and hope one day, one of the few-and-far-between new move-ins will be perfect for her?

3 comments:

  1. Yeah! So good to hear from you, Francine!

    I have much to say in response to you, but I think I'll save it for a reply post, or a really long comment at a later time.

    By the way, it was me who posted that last one. Shiela's already got herself a man!

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  2. I could have written this post!

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  3. Wow, this is tough, Bridget! I feel like this sometimes, bf aside. And your city is pretty darn sweet. I guess this is one of those times you just have to go with your gut. There's being proactive and putting yourself in fresh situations with potential new blood...and then there's flourishing where you're already rooted. Wow, that wasn't an answer at all, was it?

    There is a third option...date non-members!

    Uh...right. ;-)

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